yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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