Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
