weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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