Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
