Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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