I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
