glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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