Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
