at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
