oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
BRING THE BAGELS
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
