He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
