I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
