I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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