"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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