fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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