So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Randomize
