Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
