I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
