we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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