I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
