My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
