I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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