Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'd cum for enchiladas.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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