One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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