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dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
