My hand turned me down
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
