Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
