You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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