id be glad to
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
