Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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