we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
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