Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
