i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
