Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
