I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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