I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
