He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
