I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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