Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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