im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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