tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
