whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
