i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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