better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
