you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
