can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
