I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
