no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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