You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
