Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
