I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
